Music, Karaoke, and Surviving Too Many Drinks

Karaoke, Heavy Drinking, and The Bastard Mixed Drink Journey

Well, it seems to me that the three topics in the title are definitely related. It takes heavy drinking to even get me even considering a karaoke night, and it doesn't get much heavier drinking wise than the "Bastard Trilogy" of mixed drinks. One note: if you ever have a chance of getting sucked into the terrible warbling of a karaoke bar or a karaoke night, make sure to go in prepared with a mental list of the top 10 karaoke songs. Knowing these will help your chances of surviving karaoke night, even when you can't sing.

So how us tone deaf warblers get sucked into karaoke nights? Usually it takes a lot more than beer. It's one thing to sit at home and warble to our favorite CD Box Sets in peace, but to humiliate ourselves in public? That takes the hard stuff.

So this brings us to the "Bastard Trilogy." The Bastard Trilogy is a series of four drinks (yes, the name is freaking ironic), and comes with a story.

The Bastard Story: A guy goes into the bar and needs to get hammered. He's already drunk, but he had the break up that just crushes a person and so the bartender is sympathetic and decides to give him a heavy drink, because he has sympathy for the suffering bastard.

After this drink the suffering bastard still isn't through, so even though it's not a good idea he takes a second drink, and becomes the dying bastard.

The dying bastard decides that enough is enough, and he's going to have that one last drink. The third drink finishes him off, and he becomes the dead bastard.

Well you'd think it would be over, but the dead bastard had one last stop, as he got into heaven, which turned out to be like a beach, so Peter let him in and handed him a Mai Tai.

So those 4 drinks make up the bastard "trilogy," and will hammer even an experienced drinker. And that's how we end up at karaoke night. At least for those of us who can't sing with a crap. So that's it. The bastard trilogy, karaoke, and CD Box Sets. Easily tied together. I win the bet, my buddy owes me $5. Cheers!